Embrace the Parrot and go Hands Free - by AutoAnything

Today is July 1st and the new hands-free cell phone law is in full effect in California. Drivers are no longer legally allowed to drive with a handset being held to their ear. This law does allow for drivers to dial and text people, although some websites are reporting that legislation is under way to ban texting as well. The problems with outlawing texting, and not dialing while driving, are mind boggling… how can legislators reasonably expect law enforcement to determine whether someone was dialing or texting without unnecessary traffic stops and a huge invasion of privacy. Imagine an officer pulling you over and saying, “I’m going to have to inspect your cell phone to make sure you weren’t breaking the law.” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that people should ever be texting while driving; I actually consider it far more dangerous than talking on a cell phone when behind the wheel since you have to take your eyes off the road, but getting people to stop texting while driving shouldn’t be enforced through legal channels, but instead through drivers education and parental guidance. Hopefully this anti-texting bill doesn’t get passed by the governator.

On the lighter side, Parrot Bluetooth has capitalized on the new hands-free law and started a petition to make the Parrot the official bird of California, removing the quail from its office. ParrotNotQuail.com mocks the quail, saying “77 years and no results…meet the Valley Quail”. Make sure to check out the hilarious letter to Arnold. At the time of writing this, the petition on the website states that over 500,000 signatures have been collected to remove the quail from office. I for one hope this petition is real. I think California would be a greater state if the Parrot were in charge of the Quail’s (near) former duties.

Prevent Accidents With Simple Things – Like ATV Ramps

This is the story of me, a young guy who had all potential to become a very good football player. But one day, one mistake changed my life completely.

I am 26 and since my childhood I have been playing all kinds of sports. In the beginning I was very interested in soccer, but then I recognized that just girls wanted to play with me. Till today I can not understand why soccer doesn’t have as good a reputation here in the USA as it does in Europe, where soccer players have the same status as Football players here. And you can not believe how great the atmosphere is in soccer stadiums over there. I lived in Germany for a couple years so I know what I am talking about and I don’t exaggerate when I affirm that the experience in German soccer stadium is comparable to a football game in New England. But to defeat our sport understanding I can say that Europeans have no clue about Baseball and Football, the kinds of sports I started after finishing my short but successful ( maybe the reason therefore is just the fact that I nearly just played versus girls) soccer career.

After taking the step to a more masculine world, I was confronted with a huge competition because every guy from 10 to 18 has just one dream: Become a famous and rich baseball or football player. I am realist and so I never had the objective to be a star but at least I wanted to play on the team. And I achieved my little goal after my first training session and the coaches recognized that I was very talented in comparison with the other guys in my age. Both in baseball and in football my skills improved very fast and I was on my way to getting traded to another better team, which was playing for the regional championships. At seventeen I decided to move away from my hometown to play in the suburbs of L.A, where a pretty good football team was interested in my strengths as running back on the one side and as option to throw the ball on the other side. My idol is Tomlinson from San Diego, who is able to throw and catch the ball, so I tried to get both skills too. And after dozens of endless training sessions, I was not far from being perfect in both.

So you can see that I was on my way to a good college and I think if everything continued like this, I would have had a very good chance of achieving this goal. But the using of the if-clause probably shows you that something prevents this…

It was on a Friday when I came home after two weeks at a training center where our team was preparing for the start of the season. I was very exhausted and weak because our coach made us practice and train really hard. But before I was able to relax and just lie in bed and rejuvenate, I had to bring a bit of stuff from my truck to my room like a TV, a small table and couch. My parents were not home and so I had to do it all on my own. But this was a very bad and fateful mistake! Because I didn’t have a ramp for the truck bed, I decided to jump with the TV down from the truck bed and a few seconds later I was lying on the ground with broken knees and ribs. I don’t want to tell you all the details of story because it is still very hard for me to talk about it, but in order to sum it up I had to quit my sports career immediately. The years after this were not easy and it took a long time to continue my normal life. But as I mentioned I am a realist and after some time I remembered that there are so many other and probably better ways to earn money than playing football. Now I am a doctor and try to help people with injuries like mine. But this article has another objective. It has the function to prevent similar accidents and one very easy way is not to overestimate yourself, but use devices that can help you – like a simple truck ramp!


So please listen to my advice and search for accessories like ATV Ramps or a Warn winch. I promise they will ease your life!

Stay Cool with Cold Air Intakes

Wanna know the easy way to get to the top? You gotta stay cool. This goes for your demeanor, your attitude, your look and most importantly, your automobile’s engine. The best way to squeeze extra power from your engine and propel yourself to the head of the cool class is to install a performance cold air intake system.


It’s not as easy as it looks to stay as cool as I am. I mean, following the fashion trends alone is like running on a hamster’s wheel. You gotta know the right people, read the right magazines and have the right friends on your My Space account. Staying abreast of the coolest restaurants, nightspots and after-hours clubs can seem like full-time job. But, when staying cool is what you do, it’s worth the cost.

Luckily, I’ve found one way to stay cool that happens to be way off the hipster radar. I’m talking about a performance cold air intake kit for your vehicle. I mean these things make your engine cool, literally. Now, a cold air intake may not be a great fashion statement or get you across the velvet rope, but they are very cool.

By sucking in great gulps of cool, fresh air, a performance cold air intake system delivers a cool boost of power to your engine. The systems open up the passage to your throttle body which makes a cool sound when you romp on it. Plus, you’ll feel the extra power sucking you into your seat while burning rubber out of your night spot’s parking lot. The local movers and shakers will certainly take notice when you roll by, looking hip and sucking in all that cool air.

It may not be your scene, but gear heads and car guys love performance cold air intakes. In their world, popping your ride’s hood to reveal a polished or anodized intake tube is about as cool as it gets. You can roll down to your town’s Wal Mart parking lot, or wherever the local hot-rod haunt happens to be and get all kinds of accolades and thumbs up from these guys. Now, that’s not saying much as far as hipster clout goes, but motorheads are pretty cool, none the less.

The coolest thing about a performance cold air intake system is the fuel savings. Now, I know it may not be cool to talk about saving money, but it is cool, way cool—in a green sort of way—to save gas. You know, Al Gore and all those celebs yakking on and on about global warming. Since your engine will be running so much more efficiently with the cold air system, it uses less gas—simple. Now you can take that gas money you saved and drop it on some overpriced drinks for the Goth chick you’ve been eyeballing at the Danceteria.

There you are; a few cool tips from the coolest guy you know. The best way to keep your engine running top notch and looking cool is with a performance cold air intake system. As far as keeping yourself cool, log onto my My Space page and check out my entire list of “How to be Cool” tips. Stay cool, dudes.



Cool, cold air intake systems are made for most vehicles on the road, especially later model vehicles. The list of intake brands is a long one, but a good place to start is with K&N, Volant and the coolest brand of ‘em all, the Airaid intake system.

Air Filters, Chocolate Rain and 15 Minutes of Fame

That saying about how in the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes seems to be coming true. I was checking out YouTube the other day and it is insane how many people put up videos!

One video especially got me thinking. It was a song called ‘chocolate rain’ sung by a guy named Tay Zonday. It really seemed to summarize the way this quick fame system works.

The actual video is of Tay – a young Michael Jackson impersonator made of wax-
standing in front of a mic and singing to a piano beat. Lyrically, the song consists of one line, then the words “chocolate rain” repeated nonstop for 5 straight minutes. The main standout is Tay’s incongruous voice, which is frighteningly deep for his puny frame. As the song progresses, he occasionally turns his head aside to breathe, adding more unintended humor.

Most people who watch the video think it is some kind of bizarre joke, although the lyrics are supposedly profound. After its upload, the video received millions of views and spawned several parodies. But the main point in all this is that an ordinary person can reach the masses overnight, possibly get a recording contract, and quickly cash in before everyone wakes up and asks “what were we thinking?”

So I started to wonder, why shouldn’t I get in on this? All that’s required is a camera and way too much spare time. I finally came up with an idea involving my main interest – cars and car accessories—a way for my car to get the worldwide recognition it deserves.

I will film my car Roberto’s life over the course of a week. The opening will take place in Roberto’s home— the garage— early in the morning when he wakes up. He’ll drink a cup of oil, cough and slowly start up. He’ll then swerve his way down the highway— just another bleary head lighted Ford Escort joining the morning commute. And that’s when the action will start. Out of the corner of his headlight he’ll see a curvy Asian Camry bat her wipers at him. He will respond by enthusiastically belching exhaust from his tailpipe. But then when all is going well, a beefy Hummer will suddenly appear from nowhere, flanking Roberto and splashing him with mud.

Blinded, Roberto will spin out of control and fly off a cliff. A huge explosion will result and the scene will fade out. The next scene will begin a week later in the hospital (pep boys), where Roberto awakens and is gazing sadly at his twisted and scarred body feeling like he’ll never be restored to his old form.

But all hope is not lost. A skilled surgeon (my mechanic Al) will put Roberto back together. He’ll get all awesome add-ons, car side vents and a new air filter, which will him into a sleek, well-oiled machine. In the end, he won’t even recognize himself. I think that song from Rocky should be playing as Roberto gets a new lease on life and makes his comeback.

And if my video should get more than a million views? That would be great. Once Roberto gets his well deserved recognition, he will become an instant celebrity, honked at wherever he goes. Maybe he’ll even get his own reality TV show….



The author is interested in car related topics and accessories such as Air Filters and Car Side Vents.

Performance Air Filters—Turn Your Competition Green with Envy

Whether you’re looking to beat the IROC guy at the light or the prices at the pump, don’t underestimate the power of a performance air filter. What may be the easiest modification you can perform on your car just happens to be one of the most effective.



Adding performance modifications to your car can be a pretty daunting exercise. With so many parts available and so many levels of performance on the market, it’s hard to even define what people consider performance. For instance, a Corvette pretty much screams performance right out of the box. Then again, squeezing 10 extra horsepower out of 120-horse Honda motor can also be seen as major performance boost.

Some folks are after the ultimate performance, Ferrari and Lamborghini style; others simply want to improve their existing performance, Hyundai and Saturn style. And of course, performance is relative. What 155 MPH means to one man could very well be another man’s nightmare; and while one man considers 55 MPG a benchmark for performance, it’s a total waste of time to another.

The one product that all performance seekers can agree on is the aftermarket air filter. It’s a fact that engines are basically glorified air pumps. Air gets drawn into the engine where it’s heated, exploded and shot out the exhaust. Simple physics dictates that if you can get more air in, you’ll get more air out; which makes more power in the process. This extra power can be used to improve performance—speed, mileage or otherwise.

A more powerful engine not only runs stronger, it runs more efficiently. So if the mileage miser keeps his foot out of the throttle, the power will translate to increased mileage. This is due to the fact that the more powerful engine has an easier time of moving the car. And of course, any extra power gives the speed freak what he’s after—quickness.

There are many performance air filters to choose from, but most use the same basic design. About 30 years ago, K&N developed the cotton-gauze filter media which revolutionized the industry. This material lets more air pass, traps more dirt and lasts much longer than traditional paper media. Since then, most companies have taken K&N’s basic design and tweaked it a bit to gain a market foothold.

The major difference between air filter brands is going to be their list of vehicles. Large companies like K&N and Green Filters have extensive application lists that include nearly every vehicle you can think of. They also produce universal fit options as well as race-specific filters for everything from Indy cars to go-carts.

So, when you’re looking for that performance edge, whether it’s speed, torque or mileage, a performance air filter should be your first stop. Your engine will run better, you’ll experience results instantly and installation takes only minutes. You’ll feel good about the upgrade and your car will thank you for it.




There are many air filter companies out there specializing in performance filters. For the average vehicle, it’s best to stay with the big guys like K&N, green air filters and S&B. They’re more likely to have the filter you need, no matter what you drive.

Setting The Record Straight For Cold Air Intakes vs. Short Air Intakes

I can’t even count how many articles I’ve read about intake systems. And I’ve discovered that most people have no clue what they are talking about. I’m going to set the record straight once and for all. It might be smart to learn how intakes work before shelling out a few hundred bucks.


Let me start by saying that cold air intakes and short ram intakes both have their pros and cons. That being said, they are also very similar. The Short Air Intake System, AKA as a Ram Air Intake or Cold Air Induction, is a system that will utilize some type of external scoop that faces forward on the vehicle. Normally, it works with a pair of snorkels or a single hood scoop through which fresh air enters. Now the Ram Intake does exactly what it sounds like. As you start driving, fresh air is “rammed” through your hood, forced down the intake manifold, and filtered through the air cleaner. Once you hit thirty five mph, this intake system will act similarly to a turbo charger; taking in more and more air to increase your horsepower. Oh yea, and they are much cheaper.

Let’s look at Cold Air Intakes. The Cold Air System replaces your stock air cleaner box and its plumbing with a simple tube that relocates the air intake to a position where it is picking up cold air from outside the engine compartment. This system consists of a large tube that allows greater airflow capability than the stock filter system. I’ve noticed that people have expressed concerns about water penetrating their engines with this system. First, it is HIGHLY unlikely that this will ever be a problem. Rain and water droplets are no problem. The only case that could be a potential threat is if you drove into an extremely deep puddle, submerging the intake head. The car would have to be in the water so that the intake was submerged, and then it would start sucking up water, making your engine hydro-lock.

In both cases the intake is collecting air from outside your engine compartment. The purpose of the intake is to collect a colder air charge than inside the engine compartment, allowing the fuel management system to give the engine a denser air/fuel charge into the combustion chamber. To clarify: Cold Air = More Horsepower. The warm air from your engine compartment is good for fuel economy, but because is has less oxygen molecules than a cold air charge, the fuel will be leaned out. This increases your fuel efficiency, but decreases your horsepower. To conclude, you should look at your car and figure out what system will work with your car’s ground clearance and hood type.


Now that you are an educated shopper, you can look through all the cool colors and designs to pick out your intake. Injen intakes are very popular, but I’m currently using an AFE intake. Can you hear that? Sounds like the record has been set straight.

Demystifying The Myths Of Cold Air Intakes

Cold air intakes are one of the most popular modifications for car enthusiasts. But how effective are cold air intake really? I personally prefer regular or short ram air intakes over cold air intakes.


I recently put of few thousand miles on my car driving across the country. So I went over to the local Jiffy Lube to get my oil changed. The mechanic tried sell me a new air filter, but I chose to hold off. They weren’t giving me a great deal, so I figured I would at least check out a few performance air filters if I was going to be spending the money anyway. I started doing some research and discovered that there are two types of aftermarket intakes that people like: either short rams or cold air intakes. The two names pretty much are self explanatory. The short ram intake has a shorter pipe. The cold air intake has a longer pipe that allows the intake to breathe in cooler air because it is further from the engine. Sounds logical enough, but then I my inquisitive mind got the best of me. I’m a little unclear about the abilities of cold air intakes. If you have ever popped your hood after a long drive, you know that everything under the hood is scorching hot. Would it really matter if the intake head was a foot further from the engine? Moving the intake is like putting a pan in the oven; it is going to be hot no matter where it is because it is in a confined area with limited air flow. Secondly, cold air intakes have longer pipes, which mean that air has to travel a longer distance to reach the engine. I’m not a car expert, but I do know the general principle behind turbo engines and increasing horsepower. Horsepower is derived from an equation where the major factors are the amount of air flow to the engine and the density of that air. If a cold air intake is longer and is bent in order to reach a different part of the engine bay, then it will take air longer to reach the engine. Also, the bends in the cold air’s pipe prohibits maximum air flow; a short straight pipe would be ideal. Now even though the short ram intake is breathing warmer air because of its location, it will simply start sucking in cooler air as your car accelerates. Sure, it may not give you as much horsepower when you are at a stop sign, but then again, who cares? The weather should also be taken into account. If you live in Florida and it’s 94 degrees out, it doesn’t matter where your intake is; you’re not going to be getting cold air. And even if you are in premium driving conditions, how much cooler would the air be that is a foot away? Would you really miss or even be able to feel if you had 1 Hp less? I could see if you are Vin Diesel in the Fast and the Furious, racing for pink slips, then you might want to get the most out of your car. But until that day, I think regular air filters and short ram air filters are the better choice because they are cheaper.


Also, upgrading to an aftermarket AEM Cold Air Intake or a short ram Air Intake can add a throaty growl to your car’s sound. Both types of intakes have their pros and cons, so you should evaluate your priorities when shopping for one.

Breathing New Life into my 5.0 With AFE Filters And AFE Intakes

I don’t care what people say: I’m a Vanilla Ice fan through and through. I even went so far as buying a 1992 Ford Mustang GT with the 5.0L V8 so I could roll like Ice rolls. However, after fifteen years of putting the pedal to the metal, my ‘Stang started running a little rough. That’s why I added in an AFE intake with a fast-flowing AFE filter. Now, the old girl screams

No one’s a bigger Vanilla Ice Fan than me. I’ve got every album that this musical, lyrical god has ever released, starting with Hooked in 1989 and ending with his 2006 Best of compilation. When To the Extreme hit the scene, I almost lost my mind from excitement. Everywhere I turned, there was The Ice. On the radio. On TV. On the silver screen. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I’ve watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II every Saturday night since it was released on video. Much to the amazement of my friends and family, I even quit my job for a year to follow his North American tour. Those were some of the happiest days of my life. When the tour ended, I was stone broke and had to hitchhike my way back home to Pensacola. But I have no regrets.

After I returned from my Vanilla pilgrimage, I got a job at a local record shop. I tried applying for more lucrative positions, but Spinner’s Vinyl was the only place in town that would hire me with all those lines shaved into the side of my head. I didn’t mind, though. It gave me the perfect opportunity to introduce everyone to Vanilla’s B-sides and the bootlegs that I recorded at a few of his shows. You should have seen the looks on people’s faces when they walked in and heard my acoustic version of Roll ‘Em Up blasting through the overhead. After a while, my boss forbade me from playing my idol, so I had to enjoy it by myself through my headphones.

It took a long time, but I finally saved up enough dough to buy my dream car: a white 1992 Ford Mustang GT with the 5.0L motor. I was rolling with the ragtop down so my hair could blow. I even added in a bumping sound system to catch the attention of the girlies on stand by. They never really waved or even said “hi,” but I did catch more than a few looks. Those were glorious times. I had cash, a deluxe car, and an endless well of premium tunes to satisfy my ears.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. My GT started choking a little about the time that ol’ Van Winkle stared in the first Surreal Life. Not exactly a high point for his career or my car, but revitalization was just around the corner. I hunted around on the internet to find some parts to boost my performance. I ran into some sites with great reviews for AFE air filters and AFE intakes. Because this is an Ice ride, I went with the full-blown cold air intake. As soon as I bolted that bad boy into place, my Mustang drove like a brand new invention. The oxygen was flowing like a harpoon right into my cylinders, delivering huge horsepower gains to wax all the chumps at the red lights like a candle. Word to your mother.

Whether you choose AFE air filters or AFE intakes, you can't go wrong.

Which Air Filter Really Makes the Best Coffee Filter?

An ill-produced TV commercial recently hit the airwaves, feature a mechanic who uses a paper air filter as a coffee filter. The ad is—you guessed it—for a performance air filter company stating that “paper is for coffee filters.” It got out crack team to think, “which air filter really is the best for using as a coffee filter?” Play along and see.


OK, so K&N now has a commercial with a mechanic who puts a paper air filter in its place: inside the coffee machine. Apparently, K&N hasn’t heard of idiots who go and do exactly what your far-fetched commercial shows. Do they care about the children? Anyway, it’s not a very well-done commercial (not to get all Siskel and Eggbert on you guys), but it did get us thinking about, well, being those idiots who do what the far-fetched commercial says. This should be very fun, but in very poor taste…literally.

First up, the paper air filter, which we pulled out of my buddy’s Dodge just for fun. It’s been about, oh, 20,000 miles since it was last changed, during which time there were two gnat swarms and one huge wildfire—like snowing ashes and hard to breathe wildfire. The dingy paper was hard to tear out of the urethane frame, but we got it stuffed into place with even a couple of bee carcasses. We fired up the machine, scooped a couple of Yuban clumps in, and let ‘er rip. The results: terrible. Let’s just move on. We can’t tell if the solid bits are poorly filtered grounds or fire leavings.

K&N is next. We figured that if they’re going to brag about being a better air filter than a paper air filter when actually installed on a car, then it’s fair to compare the two in the coffee machine test. Cutting an acceptable piece out of a fresh K&N is a little tough, given the wire mesh and all. But, some tin snips helped us get the right shape filter. Of course, we had quite a bit of trouble getting coffee out of the machine. Since it’s pre-oiled, the filter tended to repel the coffee that should have been seeping down into the pot. Once we finally got a cupful, it was terrible. I spat it all over the guys and gagged, then threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The last one for the test is an AFE Pro-Guard 7 air filter. That’s 7 full layers of filter to stop little bits of coffee grinds from getting into the carafe. But, will the coffee even get past the thick cotton-gauze with the slick oiled coating? It did…through the top of the filter container. Sure, a few drops came out through the nozzle, but much more spilled out the top. It was a complete mess. But, it did make the best coffee of the three, given that it tasted like French roast with three pumps of Torani WD40 syrup. Yuck.

In other words, we’ve figured out that mimicking bad commercials due to summer boredom leads to puking, and to bad coffee. And some pissed-off parents when their morning brew reeks of automotive oil. But, we now know why K&N didn’t show their filters as the supreme coffee filter, though they tout themselves as the peak in filtration technology. Their coffee lost, and so did the paper filter’s. The AFE filter won, but, if it wouldn’t let coffee past, how’s it going to let more air past than a paper filter or K&N? We don’t really know—we’re not into testing things in their actual use.


Air filters like AFE filters don’t really make good non-automotive filters. Buyer beware.

Flying High With Performance Air Intake Systems

Sometimes ingenuity comes from the most unlikely of sources. What was designed for the soul purpose of this could greatly alter the performance of that. In the experience below, our resident daredevil Johnny Neptune straps an AEM Brute Force Intake to his jet pack.


Like my old man before me—and his before him—I’m a daredevil. I can’t explain it exactly, but it’s in my blood, something I can’t control. Even after sustaining serious injury and dealing with all the pain and suffering that go along with that, I always find myself heading back to the stunt life—it’s all I know.

As a kid I traveled the southwest visiting mostly blue-collar, high-desert towns, putting on daredevil stunt shows with my dad and pappy. They were known as the Notorious Jumping Neptunes of Catron County. Our show boasted a rabid fan base throughout the New Mexico area, where we’d never fail to dazzle ‘em with our aerial antics.

My dad did most of the actual stunt work; my pappy built the bikes, props and ramps and I became the de facto mechanic of the crew. I’d spend my afternoons in the back-lot of a hot, dusty state fairground, wrenching on our equipment. I learned fast, and it was imperative to my dad’s safety that the work I did was high-quality.

Our shtick was the flying motorcycle. We’d strap hang gliders, rockets, wings, parachutes—anything that flew—to the back of my dad’s motorbike. He speed off toward a big wooden ramp and just launch himself into the stratosphere. At that point he’d be air born and whatever winged contraption we strapped to the bike would take over from there.

A few years ago I lost the old man. It was a basic stunt, one we’d done a hundred times. Dad launched from the ramp a little cock-eyed and came crashing down to the horror of the crowd. Something went wrong with the ramp, I’m sure it was because we hadn’t kept up on ramp maintenance since losing Pappy.

We lost Pappy 2 years prior when he got pinned under a ramp we were taking down after a show. The old coot was 78, smoked 47 cigarettes—no more, no less—everyday, drank scotch like a fish and ate bacon and potatoes exclusively. We were sad to lose him, but the old man led a damn productive life.

The first and second generations have now passed the torch to me—it’s my turn. I plan to reclaim the soaring glory that was the Notorious Jumping Neptunes of Catron County. I acquired a jet pack and a parachute from my friend at the army surplus who saves such items exclusively for me. For the stunt, I plan to don both pack and chute, hurtle myself straight up, ditch the pack and parachute safely to the ground.

The jet pack needed some work though. I was surely happy for all those years I spent wrenching on my dad’s contraptions, because the jet pack was tricky. You see, the pack was missing an irreplaceable air intake system. In a moment of clarity, I pulled the AEM Brute Force Intake from the guts of my ’05 Silverado. With a bit of creative fabrication I was able to install the intake on the jet pack.

Wouldn’t you know it; the darn thing runs better’n ever. I guess by letting all that fresh air into the jets, just like the engine on my truck, the thing screams. And, just like on my truck, the AEM Brute Force Intake improved fuel mileage. Now, I’ll be able to get 3 or 400 extra vertical feet before I deploy my chute.

I’ve tested and retested and I’m ready for the stunt to go off. I have some air time reserved at Brown’s Field near the Mexico/USA border south of San Diego. If you’re out in those parts sometime in mid-August, keep your eyes peeled for the last breed of the Notorious Jumping Neptunes of Catron County!



Of course, the AEM Brute force intake, and other performance air intake systems for that matter are designed to optimize the performance of your vehicle, not a surplus jet pack. Expect the same power and fuel gains that I got for the pack though, only a slightly less thrilling driving experience.

AFE Air Filters – An Attribute To Save The World?

For a few months I have been thinking about ways to change something in order to have a hand in improving the situation of our environment. I ended up buying AFE filters. Why? Just read it.




What is happening with our air? Is there anything people can do for our environment? And if so, are there any activities that a single man can do? Does he really impact the whole environment, where billions of other influences factor in as well? For the last two months I have been dealing with these kinds of questions. I thought, if a man who was not able to beat George W. Bush in an election (faked or not), wins a Nobel price due to his huge attainments for the safety of the world, I should at least rescue the clean air in my hometown, where cows and birds are playing golf together and the fox beats the rabbit at playing chess. As you can see, first of all I wanted to consider one element and “air” was the only one that came into question. Why?

Fire: There is no reason to save fire. Just think back to California, where it has destroyed thousands of houses and injured hundreds of people.

Earth: Remember your childhood and how often you got dirty because of all the mud at the playground. And now that I am a father, do I really want to save all the mud on the clothes of my two sons? Of course not!

Water: My sister already wants to save this element, so I can’t copy her - unfortunately. I like the idea of saving a small Flipper in our big ocean.

So there was just one element left, called air. In the beginning it sounds a bit boring in comparison to the other ones, but you have to remember, this is not a selfish competition. The one who has saved the most interesting element will not rule the world. And honestly, who wants to steal Stewie’s dream of conquering the world?

This article is about doing something to avoid an environmental disaster like the ones we have seen in tons of Hollywood movies. And even if I think that they are a bit extreme in order to win the attention and afterwards the money of the spectators (But I am not really sure – this is just an assumption!), I think we have to start changing something concerning our habits as soon as possible.

So last month I began to search on the internet for what I have to do first in order to be the next Al Gore. So I typed in Google: “What do I have to do first, when I want to save the air?” This is pretty logical, isn’t it? I came across a site called “Save the planet”. But as I already mentioned, the whole planet is a bit too much for me because I am a guy from a town that has maybe 2.000 citizens and 20.000 cows. So I kept looking, but I changed the keyword a bit. This time I just typed in: “How can I filter the dirty air from our globe?” By doing this I came across a few sites that were about air filters. I thought that filtering the air with good air filters is probably a good way to start rescuing one of our four elements. So I bought twenty Air filters from a company called AFE. Just two days later I got my new air filters, but I was a bit surprised that something so small could filter air. But I tried it. Unfortunately, it did not work. When I was standing on the top of the highest house in my hometown (18 feet), a guy who was walking by told me why. He said “Hey dude, these filters only improve the engine performance of your vehicle; they don’t filter the earth’s air”. As you can imagine, it was pretty embarrassing.

Afterwards I decided to quit my new career as the savior of the world. But now that I have 20 great air filters for my car, I am the king of the road. And if anyone will blame me for neglecting my dream to save the air that fast, I will answer: “At least I was thinking about finding a way to improve our threatened environment.” Maybe I will also add “And dude, you have to remember, I have air filters!!”




If you are thinking that new AFE Air Filters are a good purchase, even if they won’t save the world (but maybe a bit), then search on internet. There you will come across all kinds of car performance accessories like Throttle Body Spacers. But afterwards, try to do at least a bit to improve the situation of our environment. You will benefit from it. Everyone does!

Tonneau Tragedy; To Fold or Roll, That is the Question

To fold or to roll, that is the question Whether/'tis nobler in the mind to suffer/The slings and arrows of a shoddy tonneau cover/Or to take arms against a sea of tonneau troubles/And by opposing, end them. To snap, to tear/No more.


These days, finding a quality tonneau cover for your rig can be a down-right tragedy. One search on the internet delivers a venerable cornucopia of choices. Hard, soft, roll, fold, snap, tri, bi, retract and hinged. There are enough choices to scare off the ghost of King Hamlet himself. The amount of styles one is presented is, of course, only overshadowed by the number of tonneau manufacturers that exist. There has got to be a ton of money to be made by producing tonneau covers because there is no shortage of companies.

In the old days, my uncle Claude would take me on a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico to get a tonneau made for his El Camino. We would navigate our way deep into the sticky streets of industrial TJ, looking for the little upholstery shop that my uncle did business with. I don’t know how he knew them or how he found them but he did. The place, Jaliscos, was always abuzz with craftsmen making seat covers and tonneaus while drinking from an endless supply of Tecate beer. After a beer and some broken English bartering, my uncle would take me to lunch in downtown TJ. After we ate, he always bought me cinnamon soaked churro, then he would wink and warn me not to tell my aunt Gertrude. When we got back to Jaliscos, my uncle’s El Camino would be sporting a brand new tonneau cover.

Those simple days of Tecate beer, border crossings and chorizo burritos are gone now. Mass production, maquiladoras and homeland security have poured hemlock into the ear of handmade tonneaus from Mexico and left us with a hodge podge of what are now called truck bed covers. On some level it brings a tear to my nostalgic eye on the other hand, I realize that my uncle’s tonneau was really a clunky tarp that actually snapped to his vehicle. And, the snaps were drilled right into the side of his car, permanently!

Today, tonneau covers are simply amazing. The higher end gear can be installed in minutes with no drilling or cutting. They come off just as fast and leave no trace of their existence on your rig. Instead of snaps and straps, modern tarps use quality Velcro or roller tracks to stay on. This also means accessing all the stuff in your bed is easier than ever. Some covers fold open, some even have spring loaded latches and gas struts that lift them up for you. And, with the popularity of ecommerce sites, you can have one of these cool tonneau covers delivered right to your front door.

To narrow it down a bit and keep the costs within this stratosphere, it’s a good idea to opt for a roll up or folding tonneau. The roll up tarps are usually held fast with Velcro and have spring activated tension adjusters to keep your tarp taught. When you need access, you simply roll the cover like a blanket. It rolls up to your cab where you can strap it open or roll it shut again.

The folding covers are usually comprised of a tarp that is stretched over a lightweight frame. The frame is hinged in sections that allow you to lift it like a hard cover. You can lift sections separately on the nicer covers, giving you access to the different parts of your bed. This is a great choice for those who work in the field and need to access their bed frequently.

The end of this debate is no tragedy though. Even though spending a drunken day in Mexico with your uncle is a thing of the past, getting a high quality folding or roll up tonneau cover is something we can all do today.



To help wade through the plethora of choices, take a look at Access tonneau covers. Or, my all time favorite, the Extang trifecta tonneau cover is sure to prove most royal. Basically, you can not go wrong with either.

How Borla Exhaust and Gibson Exhaust Helped Me Through a Midlife Crisis

Feeling age creep up on you? A midlife crisis isn’t such a bad thing, if you know the right way to deal with it…




I just turned 45 last month and my life has changed a lot. I used to be the life of the party but over time I started to mellow out. I had just retired early and my wife left me for the pool guy so I felt like I needed some major changes in my life.

My hair has been really thinning, so the first thing to try was a new toupee. I hesitated at the door of the wig store, but finally stepped inside. The guy at the store was really persuasive. I tried on a ton of styles but finally walked out with an afro and a blonde mullet.

Next I had to find a foxy lady and so at 10pm I drove out to the club. I fluffed up my new afro and sucked in my gut and thought to myself: “What woman could resist this studmuffin?” Outside the club, there was a long line of beautiful people who were guided by velvet ropes to the entrance. I took my place and flashed my dazzling dentures at a trio of chicks behind me.

As we were waiting, I noticed an ogre-like bouncer at the doorway looking at everyone with suspicion. When someone approached, he would shine his tiny flashlight on their ID, size them up like he was going to eat them and then either push them out of line or lumber aside to allow them entrance.
When my turn came, I started fishing around for my wallet, but the ogre stopped me with his raspy laugh. “No problem for you pops,” he said, “You’ve gotta be as old as my grandpa”. The girls behind me must have heard him because they started giggling and I dove into the club to escape them.

Inside, it was dark and I felt disoriented. Lights were swirling everywhere and the bass was booming so loudly that I considered taking out my hearing aid.
“Hey baby,” I shouted to an attractive woman, gyrating my hip and trying to think of my best pickup line. But for some reason the woman shrieked and ran away.

Just then I noticed a greasy looking guy in the corner motion to me. “Hey gramps, over here.” I pretended not to hear him, but he slithered over and pulled me aside. “I think I can help you my friend” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a plastic baggie. Inside was what looked like a bunch of sweet tarts. Suddenly, it all fell into place. It must have been my bad breath that chased the girl off! And this man was kind enough to bring me some mints! For some reason he wanted a hundred dollars for the baggie but hey, there’s no time to haggle when you’re in the zone.

Just to be on the safe side I downed the whole bag and was back out on the dance floor.

I don’t remember much after that… From what I read on the news, a crazed man started a riot at the club and led cops on a high speed chase in a stolen corvette. Apparently, they never caught the guy, but whoever he was, he inspired me for my next purchase: a sports car with a new Gibson Exhaust system!







I’m gonna check out a Gibson Exhaust and Borla Exhaust system . Then I’ll be out again to rule the night!

How much punishment can deflectors take?

Sure, auto deflectors may not be a strong as a Star Wars-grade shield founded on potent imperial technology. But, they can push aside most of the things that come flying at your ride. Where’s the breaking point? Follow us as we test it out with some common household items.


We’ve equipped my 88 CRX with bug deflectors for the hood line, and vent visors for the windows now. Each is made from what appears to be thick, hardened plastic molded specifically for this vehicle. We torqued the installation bolts pretty tight on the hood piece, and pressed hard on the mounting tape for the window sections. Now we’re ready for battle.

First up: some bugs. Is there a bug that might break a bug deflector? Maybe in Texas or something like that, but we’ll test the deflectors against a barrage of small ones instead. That requires a dusk drive through any field near my Central Valley home, where the gnats can block the sun during the spring, until the first 90° day causes their fragile bodies to vaporize. A quick run around the local hay field turns the once smoke-colored deflectors speckled black—the gut bag explosions even have a glitter effect. But, the forces of bug infestations have failed to pierce this armor. We’ll use this as the control of our experiment.

Next up: rocks. From about 60 feet away, we fired rocks at the deflectors, varying in size from tiny pebbles to some of my mom’s decorative garden stones. The first round of pebbles failed to faze the bug deflector, which fared much better than my paint above and below the hood section. Surprisingly, the medium rocks bounced off the deflector without leaving cracks…in the deflector, anyway. My Honda logo is toast. We finally compromised the deflector’s defensive powers with a larger rock, sized 7 pounds. It took the right corner completely off, but the paint ended up unblemished.

Impressive so far, but it’s time to really put these shields to the test with something far more likely to actually happen on I-5. We did the only thing we could think of: grab our water balloon launcher and some driving range golf balls. Firing from about 100 feet away, we completely busted the bug shield in half. This was on our fifth fire; the other four skimmed off the hood and pitted my windshield, blasted the side-view, knocked my rearview glue loose, and the last one came flying off the front bumper and right back at us.

Then, it was time for some all-out destruction. So we followed the lead of something else that happens all the time on freeways here, and grabbed all the rotted lumber we could find on the side yard. With my buddy Beetle driving his S-10 in front of us on a county road, Mench laid flat down in the bed, chucking boards and plywood pieces at random intervals about three car lengths ahead of us. I managed to dodge the first two, and the remaining pieces of the deflector bounced the first plywood scrap, but the muddy 2x4 he threw third left only a few circles of plastic and the bolts attached to my hood. The deflector was dead.

The results of our test were pretty clear: destroying stuff for no good reason kicks ass. And, for the most part, a deflector will get ravaged pretty easily, but it’s better than having your hood get ravaged instead. Why, you ask, would we wreck a set of perfectly good deflectors and abuse such a hot tuner car? We hate rice rockets, our Grandma gave me the deflectors as though it’s what I really wanted for my birthday, and things suck in the Central Valley during Spring Break when you can’t afford to go anywhere except Waterworld.


Bug deflectors are bound to fail you when they get hit, and we still have no clue what a vent visor is for.

Hypertech Programmers Prevent Horror Stories

You’re halfway across the country and your check engine light goes. What do you do? Discover how beneficial it is to have a programmer.


I awake in a large grassy field. The body aches from spending hours on the cool moist earth. From the position of the sun it must have been around noon. The blinding sun stings my eyes as I frantically try to decipher to my surroundings. I roll over to discover my hands bound together – duct tape. The taste of blood and sweat lingers in my mouth.

“What the…?” It hurts to think. It feels like I jumped out of a speeding car. I can hear footsteps. The silhouette walking towards me slowly comes into focus. My memory comes flooding back…

Kara and I are speeding down route 66 in our sparkle blue retro van – fully equipped with a disco ball, black light and enough albums to entertain us for days. What else could two twenty year olds ask for? I’m manning the wheel, focusing on the seemingly endless road in front of us. Kara, official road trip navigator and DJ, sits Indian style in the passenger seat next to me.

We left California yesterday sometime around noon on our way to a three-day-long music festival in Tennessee. We are looking at a 4 – 5 day drive. It really depends on how many road side monstrosities tickle our fancy. Would we be able to resist the world’s largest ball of yarn? Only God knows.

“How about we change drivers when we fill up?” Kara asked. “Um…I actually wanted to make it to the concert, so I think I’m good,” I responded.

“Well if I drive now, you can take a nap and then put in a few hours when the sun goes down. I hate driving in the dark anyway,” she said. “And if we want to get a decent campsite, we should get there as soon as possible. That is unless you don’t really care about being able to see the bands?” I hate when she’s right.

Cruising down the highway, we pass a small makeshift sign for Moe’s Gas, 3.1 miles away. I flip on the blinker, pull off historic route 66 and head down a dirt road towards Moe’s. As we pull up to a desolate dilapidated building, Kara said, “Looks like Moe hasn’t been around for a while.” The abundance of overgrown weeds and spider webs were proof.

“My turn!” she said. I could tell she was itching to drive, so I threw the van in park and plopped down on our make shift bed in the back – a cozy combination of bean bag chairs, sweatshirts and pillows. “Wake me up when the sun starts to set,” I said and closed my eyes.

I’m woken up by the sound of the engine stalling. “What’d you do?” I ask. “So… the little check engine light came on…around 200 miles ago,” Kara softly mutters.

“What!” I shout. I run around to the driver’s side and pop the hood. The engine hisses and exhales a cloud of smoke. I grab the oil dip stick and yank it out – bone dry. “I think I found our problem,” I say, holding up the long thin stick. Frustrated, I slam fist onto the hood. “What were you thinking? Now we’re stranding in middle of...”

“Texas,” she adds.

“Texas! Great! How the hell are we going to get…” I’m interrupted as two dim headlights peek over a hill in the distance.

As the car approaches, it slows to a stop right front of us. Through the blinding lights a voice yells, “You guys need a jump?”

“We need oil,” I yell back. “Do you know of any auto shops around here?”

“Yes sir, but the closest one is ‘bout twenty miles down the road,” replied a full, deep voice. “Want a ride?”

Now I know what you’re thinking - we would have to be out of our minds to accept a ride from this mysterious stranger, right? But turns out the guy played keys for one of the bands in the festival. Not only did we make it to the festival on time, but he tossed us some backstage passes and we hung with his band after they played.

Those guys know how to party. Apparently I wanted to take the van to do donuts in a field, so Kara and some of the guys, pulled me from the van, taped me up, and left me in the field.

Back to present time. As my eyes adjust, I see that Kara is the one walking towards me.

As she kneels down to help me up, I joke, “I guess this is what happens when you let a woman drive.”

She wasn’t amused. She gets up and starts walking away.

“Oh come on, I was joking. Kara. Kara!” I yelled, but she just kept walking.


How could I have avoided this whole mess? If only we had a Hypertech programmer, we would have known what the check engine light meant. Instead I spent my money on these awesome Power slot rotors. Rock on!

BedRug Carpeted Truck Bed Liners Are Ruggedly Practical

Liners are a necessity for those who care about the condition and appearance of their truck beds. BedRug’s carpeted bed liners take this to the next level- offering a stain and skid resistant surface.


Not having a liner or truck mat at all is a sure recipe for disaster. Stains, scratches and other damage are inevitable for an unprotected truck bed. On the practical side, a liner is a must for hauling: whether a load of gravel, concrete blocks, or even a couple of dirtbikes for weekend racing. The safety and protection of the bed is important—not just for those who work in construction, but also for those who plan on moving lighter loads.

Now imagine this scenario: You are driving around randomly, when something possesses you to stop off at a garage sale-- and before you know it, you’ve been talked into buying a glass-top coffee table and couple floor lamps-- not to mention that ancient record player and stack of vinyls you just couldn’t resist! Hauling a load of cumbersome or fragile items like these is often an anxious experience, with every bump in the road feeling like a disaster waiting to happen. Damage that is caused by loose items is a very real danger to others on the road, but a major consideration is damage to the bed itself. This is when it comes in handy to have a liner with a carpet-like surface-- to act as a soft buffer between objects and the bed, as well to prevent the these objects from shifting and sliding during sharp turns. This is essential for heavier objects which may be harmed and even do harm to the interior of the truck bed.

But a carpet can tear or become damaged easily, right? Luckily, some liners such as Wise Industries’ BedRug are made of a polypropylene resin which is mildew resistant and tough enough to merit a lifetime warranty by the manufacturer. The fuzzy appearance is deceiving, for the ‘carpet’ is extremely durable and puncture-proof. The liner can be removed quickly and be hosed down in the case of paint spills. Even oil, gasoline and acid will not stain its surface-- a relief to those who constantly transport engine parts or construction equipment. The surface can be washed, left wet and left out uncovered. There’s also the bonus of having a liner which protects the inner sides and tailgate area—unlike standard bed mats which tend to only protect floor of the bed. Other standard floormats are indeed cheaper, but they do not offer the full range of benefits of the BedRug.

BedRug liners are easy to setup with installation usually taking under an hour. But the good news doesn’t stop there. Custom-made liners are available to fit trucks of any year and model. A quality liner ‘completes’ a truck’s look, demonstrates the owner’s care of the vehicle, and gives the feeling that that vehicle is ready to haul anything the world can throw in it…

The benefits extend to off time as well.

When the workweek is done, I definitely like to kick back and relax at a tailgate party, and this is when the comfort of a carpeted interior comes in really handy. The padding is very easy on the knees which is a major relief when clambering in to drag out a water cooler. And of course when the empty beer cans are piling up, friends who may have partied a little too hard will have someplace relaxing to pass out!

BedRug is a great brand to explore--and while you're at it, make sure you check out standard truck bed liners as well.

Take two of these and call me in the morning

I can remember a time when transporting a bicycle meant popping your trunk, shoving in as much of it as you could and praying for the best. (I remember because mine flew out and landed under a pick up truck) A time when packing for a road trip required a degree in Tetris. A time when active lifestyles clashed with vehicular constraints. I checked out this contest that got me thinking about buying one.


One may underestimate the capacity of the cargo carrier, and wonder, “I mean really, how much can you really fit in one of those things?” That’s a bunch of malarkey! You should live your life by the golden rule: Thou shall not question the capability of the cargo carrier. Well, maybe that's a little drastic, but they can fit golf club bags, kayak paddles, skis, snowboards, hockey sticks—basically any awkward items you wouldn’t want scratching up your car’s interior. I can sympathize with your skepticism because I used to be you. I even used to have a deep rooted fear of carriers; dating back to my childhood, when my brother thought it would be funny to lock me in one and surf it down our front lawn; but that’s a whole different set of issues.

Anyway, the other day I was at a local sporting shop and they were hosting this a promotional event. All the big names in the rack business were there—Thule, Surco, Swagman, Allen—and they were hosting a contest called “You Couldn’t Pack this Car if Your Life Depended on it!” The idea behind it was simple. The companies selected an array of couples who live active lifestyles and enjoy the outdoors. The couples were then given twenty minutes to shop through the store and pick out whatever they wanted. Here’s the catch- they could only keep what they could pack into a mystery car; and they had to do it in 10 minutes! The couples rushed the store, grabbing fishing rods, pool sticks, snowboards, mountain bikes, and whatever else they could get their hands on. When their time was up, the officials unveiled the mystery mobile: a 2007 Subaru Impreza. It was hilarious watching couple after couple attempt to stuff this small sedan. In the end, I think the couple that won fit 2 pairs of skis, a snowboard along with some basketballs and footballs. Then the companies got to give their 10 minutes demo, which consisted of a sponsor rolling up in a similar Subaru; except his was decked out to the max with racks. It had a rooftop cargo carrier packed with 6 pairs of skis and poles, a hitch mounted bike rack, and to top it all off—plenty of interior room! The power of the rack is one to be considered.

All in all, it was a pretty cool exhibit. Some couples walked away with some free gear and I got to watch them struggle trying to fit all this cool gear in a small car. The companies passed out some info, so if you looking for a roof top cargo carrier or want check out some bitchin’ bike racks, I highly recommend saving yourself a headache and purchasing one. -

Stop, in the name of lust

I’m no lothario, but I have had my fair share of rendezvous in my time. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that the ladies like a good car. Wild rides are a great way to tear down inhibitions. However, losing control over your street machine will not put anyone in the mood for spooning. I learned that the hard way. That was before I slapped on a set of EBC brakes and brake pads, which have done wonders for my stopping performance and love life.


There has always been a soft spot in my heart for the females. Ever since I was a young lad climbing around on the schoolyard jungle gym, I naturally gravitated towards the cute girls. Something about their billowing summer dresses, their flowing hair, and their fruit-scented perfumes just hypnotized me. And the fact that they didn’t like to root around in the mud burying half-chewed G.I. Joe action figures and fishing for earthworms only endeared these girls to me even more.

Unfortunately, all of my early attempts at wooing were shot down before they even had a chance to lift off. A nasty rumor was spread around Westwood Elementary that I had a sever dose of ultra-infectious cooties, and that tainted my reputation. Soon after the word was out, the girls I used to play handball with would run away screaming at the mere sight of me. It was bad. Worst of all, I was completely cootie-free at the time (that status would change after a blurry-eyed trip to Kuala Lumpur). I never found out for sure who made up that lie about me, but I have my suspicions. The two possible perpetrators were Doug “the boner” Wisenkrass and April Lee. All through the fourth grade, Doug and I were locked in a feud because I cut in front of him in the milk line one day and snatched the last carton of chocolate. He was stuck with some crappy 2% and never forgave me. April, on the other hand, was an entirely different kind of situation. This girl had a crush on me from the first grade, and she was always trying to get my attention by leaving little presents on my desk. Sometimes it was a sheet of Keroppi stickers, and other times it was a new issue of Boys’ Life. Since I was neither a scout nor a fan of Sanrio, so I just ignored her and hoped that she’d get the hint. Plus, she smelled like eggplant and tapioca, so I really tried to steer clear. After I started pelting her with rocks, she got the hint and stopped fawning. So she definitely had an ax to grind.

While my romancing started off rocky, it jumped into overdrive during high school. Some try to attribute it to my cerulean eyes and my baritone voice, but I think it was my ride, a cherry ’68 Z28. Every new term brought in a fresh crop of freshmen cuties who couldn’t help but be reaped by each sweep of my V8 scythe. Fast driving will turn a girl soupy in seconds, but near-death experiences are a total turnoff. Over the years, I’ve lost a number of sure bets because of close calls in my Camaro. That’s why I decided to upgrade with EBC brakes and brake pads. Now, my calipers have enough bite to keep me in complete control of the situation. Oh yeah.

You may not be able to relate to my story or draw some parallel in your own life but, I did come to an important conclusion at least in terms of auto parts. Good brake pads keep you safe and, as far as I can tell, EBC Brakes are the best. The moral about girls I will leave to you.

The Performance Brake Breakdown

Factory pads and rotors leave a lot to be desired when it comes to performance braking. The key to stopping on a dime and getting nine cents backs lies in the aftermarket. Let’s take a quick look at a few of the brake options available.


We’ve all come to expect the fact that automakers cut corners anywhere they think there’s a buck to be saved. It can be cheap plastic interior knobs, a doughnut for a spare tire or rehashed components stockpiled from earlier model years. These are all simple problems that we learn to live with, but the worst is when these companies skimp on brakes.

Face it, factory brakes are only getting flimsier. They’re using cheaper iron in the discs, lower grade compounds in the pads and severely undersized calipers. On large trucks and SUVs, these set ups sometimes require servicing in less than 20, 000 miles. One reader was actually informed by the dealer that the squeaky brakes on her newish SUV were caused by an aggressive brake system! We all know that this is BS, of course.

The solution to your braking woes isn’t out of reach though. The aftermarket is chock full of performance brake components designed for nearly every vehicle. Whether you want to convert your muscle car to high-performance discs or just beef up the family ride’s braking power, there are plenty of manufacturers more than willing to help you out.

Not only do aftermarket brake parts last longer than the factory stuff, they’re engineered to stop your car better. This can mean safer, more controllable braking for everyday driving, or higher-performance stops for spirited motoring. You don’t have to be tearing up the track to enjoy the pedal feel of a set of powerful brakes.

Since performance brake kits are built vehicle specific, swapping out your stockers is relatively easy. Of course, if you opt for a set oversized stoppers with 6-piston calipers, the modifications can get a bit tricky. For the most part though, direct bolt-on parts will make a world of difference. The magic lies is the advanced designs and the quality materials employed by the aftermarket manufacturers.

Heavy-duty cast iron is just the beginning of a quality rotor. Advanced vent designs keep ‘em cooler while slotting and/or drilling provides the performance bite. Not to mention the cool looks that a set of cross-drilled and vented rotors add to your ride, especially if you’re running custom, open-style wheels.

The best part about aftermarket brake pads is the cornucopia of options available. Many different compounds and design take into consideration every imaginable driving style or need. Pads are specially constructed for towing, heavy trucks, SUVs, track racing, street racing—you name it, they make it. And, these custom pads are usually priced right in there with the factory pads that already prematurely failed you. This means there’s no reason to toy with the stock stuff anymore.

So, when it’s time to replace those factory stoppers—and that time is coming sooner than you think—put the brakes on the OEM garbage and set your rig up proper with a set of performance pads and rotors available from one of the many fine brake manufactures out there right now.



There’s no longer any reason to keep using those cheap OEM brake components. High-quality aftermarket brake pads and brake rotors are available from most automotive shops and they’re even easier to get over the internet. Happy braking!

Brakes Hung-Over? Go Premium and Skip the Headaches

What does replacing your car brakes and grabbing a beer have in common? If your wide pedal has been a little hoppy lately but your brew hasn’t, read on for the answer.

Picking rotors at the local parts chain store: it can be harder than choosing which sub-par, soapy domestic suds to grab at the slim pickings stadium beer stand. Like the pale beer paradox at the ballgame, all of the parts store’s disc brands look the same, feel the same and disappoint the same (and probably taste the same, too, but I wouldn’t try it). That’s why, with both beer and brakes, you should stick to a higher grade.

A set of performance rotors is in order if you truly like the refined taste of proper stopping. But, you won’t find them at the local chain parts store, or down the sad auto aisle of the mega mart (not far from the 36 packs without a buzz in the box). Instead, browse online for a good price on performance rotors from a brand like DBA Brakes.

Performance discs like the ones DBA makes run much cooler than stock or standard replacements. They help you stop better and make all of your other car brakes parts last longer. It’s kind of like the difference between a warm Coors Light and a crisp Sam Adams with budding icicles floating on top. Only your safety depends on it. No pressure.

Want to go beyond the Sammy equivalent and head straight for a smooth stout? Pick a big brake kit like the ones made by SSBC. You not only get the cooler performance rotors, you also get more powerful calipers with the bite of barleywine. This, my friend, is the real king of brakes. Of course, with the premium brew equivalent comes a premium price: big brake kits will almost drain your beer fund dry.

The best part: performance car brakes parts install just as easily as their inferior counterparts. That means you can crack open one or two or 24 bottles of the good stuff and get to wrenchin’ in your own driveway. Just make sure you let someone else do the test drive when you’re done. You can enjoy the newfound stopping power after a lengthy nap.


Don’t accept the cheap stuff for brew or brakes. Stick to the premium car brakes labels, including the fine parts made by DBA Brakes and SSBC Brakes.

Performance Stoppers Put the Bite on Inferior Braking

In this latest episode of the Misanthropic Mechanic, everyone’s favorite testy technician, Mike, teaches NASCAR fans about performance brakes, while tossing in some good-natured hillbilly ribbin’.

Dear Misanthropic Mechanic:
Is there a way to get my ’95 Monte Carlo to stop on a dime like those racecars in NASCAR? The way those boys just blaze into pit lane and stop right on that white line is darn amazing.
Willy G. from Concord NC

Willy:
NASCAR? Come on, Willy. Should I call you Erwin, Bob, Dale…maybe Jimmy? Just messin’ with ya there Willy-boy. Regular readers of this column know the Misanthropic Mechanic is into Diesel Drags—not left-turn lunacy. But, just because I think southern-fried racing is as exciting to watch as bocce ball doesn’t mean I don’t have the answers for you. Consider this is your lucky day, rube.

Look Bobby, the fact that you’re driving a ’95 Monte Carlo means you’re already halfway to circle-track stardom. Maybe you should just bungee-cord the steering wheel to the rear-view mirror to keep that rig in a perpetual left-hand turn. Just kiddin’ Dick, then you couldn’t make that hard right out of the Krispy Kreme drive through.

Willy, it’s no secret that the key to break-neck braking lies in the quality of the brakes. I assume that old Monte Carlo is equipped with the original factory discs, so you’d be better off using floppy disks from your Commodore 64. What you need to do Billy is look into a set of performance brakes.

Simply mounting a set of performance discs alone can give that rum runner of yours a powerful stopping boost. Most performance rotors are vented, slotted, and/or cross-drilled to keep ‘em cool. Kinda like how folks sip on iced tea and fan themselves to stop the sweating. Aftermarket discs are also easy to install and mount right in place of those sad stockers you’re running now.

To get that Monte Lumina—er—Carlo stopping like the machines your moonshine-heroes are running, you gotta take it a step further. Go for a big brake kit or a performance brake kit. These kits not only include the performance rotors, they come with stronger calipers, pads and hardware. Depending on your vehicle, you can get some monster stoppers.

There you have it, Kenny. In order to stop on a dime and get nine cents back, you’re gonna have to spend a few bucks. Go find a company that makes performance brakes for your ride and get yourself a set. Then get a twelver of your favorite suds and get to work. A couple of brands you may want to check out are SSBC and Power Stop. Both make powerful brake kits that are sure stop you just like those NASCAR notables. Now stop turning circles Willy, before you get dizzy and spit-up your supper.


Thanks Mike, now creep your disgruntled-self back into that garage of yours and calm down. Remember readers, when you want to put the brakes on inferior braking, Mike recommends ssbc brakes and Power Stop for all your performance brakes supplies.

Stopping on a Dime to Stop the March of Dimes

Unless you like the idea of laboratories around the country brimming with caged, maimed, tortured animals, you’ll stop supporting the March of Dimes. I did, and I even took my protest to the next level. I upgraded the brakes and brake rotors on my Mustang for stop-dime braking power, so I can be a safer motorist and so I can make a political statement through my choice of automotive accessories.



Let me just say one thing: I am not an advocate for killing babies and infants. If someone in front of my local grocery store asked me to sign a petition calling for stomping on the necks of every thousandth baby born, I would respectfully lie and say that I’m not a registered voter to avoiding penning my name to their slip of paper. I’m a caring person, you see. In fact, I’m so caring that my compassion is not confined to our species alone. If there was a similar petition floating around for the eradication of every thousandth Sumatran Tiger born, I would again make up an excuse not to sign.

I wasn’t always so sensitive, though. I used to be a raging speciesist who thought that the world revolved around Homo sapiens alone. And I made my feelings known to everyone I came into contact with, be it through my witty bumper stickers (“Silly Vegetarian—Veal’s for Men”), my snarky shirts (“Make Rack of Lamb, not War”), or my biting conversation…no pun intended. So great was my distain for animals that I would combine fishing and hunting trips into a sport of my own invention: shotgun angling. I’d stand in a stream, cast my lures, and have my trusty double-aught slung around my shoulder to blast any elk that might wander across my path. On my best day, I snared a 15 pound bass and a 12-point stag. Good eats that night!

However, my feelings changed rather abruptly a few years ago. I took a vacation to Nova Scotia to hike a glacier and to try my hand at clubbing seals. On the day of the big hunt, I was simply giddy with anticipation. My excited hands were shaking so violently I could barely keep from spilling my cup of Yuban. Our hunting party, 17 steely souls in yellow waders, set out across the frosty landscape before dawn. Just as the sun started breeching out of the Bay of Fundy, we spotted our prey. White and still as gull drizzle on an ocean boulder, the seals were laid out looking at us without a care in the world. Then, the hunt leader blew his whistle, and we dashed after the floppy beasts. But when I reached the first pup, I couldn’t bring myself to plunge my hakapik into his adorable little skull. At that moment, something inside me changed. I flew home without a pelt in my suitcase, but with nothing but respect in my heart for critters great and small.

That’s why I can’t stand the March of Dimes, which gives money to researchers who perform grizzly experiments on our furry friends of the forest. Since I don’t have the clout of some big-time celebrity like Tony Danza or Michelle Kwan, my soapbox is pretty squat. Instead, I’m making my statement through the automotive accessories I choose. I installed a set of performance brakes and brake rotors, so now I can stop on a dime, get out of my Mustang, pick up that dime, and keep it out of the hands of those kitten-killing jerks. Take that!



I know that this article is a round-about way to make a point. I learned something that day and made a change in my lifestyle which also required doing some research about brakes and brake rotors so that I could avoid the little critters that happen across the road. Now I can avoid doing any more harm and my conscience is a little clearer.

Good Brake Pads Can Safe Your Life – My Story Proves It

I lived a great life until I was in a horrible car accident. Luckily, I am still alive. But I could have avoided this bad experience if I had replaced my brake pads and paid more attention to my vehicle’s maintenance.

I am 26 years old and I was having problems with the performance of my brakes. I am an auto fan and love driving very fast, but driving fast only makes sense when you have brakes that can handle speeds over 100 mph. Two weeks ago I was with a few friends of mine at a racecourse to have a bit fun in a race competition. We were all driving very fast cars. For instance, I have a Lamborghini, so if you want to win such a competition you need pretty good brakes. I think there are three important factors that decide who will win a car race: The power of the car, the talent of the driver and last but not least the performance of the brakes. This hypothesis was confirmed by the mentioned race. After 20 rounds I was in second position, behind a friend driving a Ferrari with a bit more horsepower than mine, so I was content with the progress of the race. In round 21 I wanted to pass him with a risky maneuver. I knew it would be tricky but I had the confidence to try it. That was a mistake! My brakes were not able to handle the speed and I crashed into a small wall close to the racetrack. You cannot imagine the fear you have, when you see a wall coming closer and closer and you have no chance to avoid the accident. I am very happy that I am able to talk about this experience, which has changed my life. Not because I like to remember this day, but because I can warn guys like me, who risk their life, just to feel the speed.

At this moment, I am currently in a hospital and a nurse told me that I will be able to walk again, although I had complicated fractures in both legs. I thank god for giving me a second chance. But now I want to give something back. I was never rich so I am not able to help humanity by donating thousands of dollars. But I have experience concerning cars, which I can share with other guys, who are not supposed to repeat the same mistakes I made.

First of all I have to correct my hypothesis I stated earlier. The factors that characterize a winner were mentioned in the wrong order. The most important factor is the brake performance. You can be the best racer, you can have the most horse power, but if you are not able to brake like you need to after racing at speeds near 200 miles an hour, you will never be a winner. Maybe you will be famous because you are a young guy who lost his life in a car accident and people are interested in stories like that. But you will never have a wife, children and a nice home; attributes that define real winners. So listen to me and pay more attention to finding good brakes. The selection of good brakes is vast. For instance, there are the Hawk Brake Pads or the EBC Break pads, which have unmatched braking power that eclipse standard and even other performance pad replacements by 20-40%. And they are the ideal partner for a set of high performance rotors.

The last advice of mine will be the following: Seize the day and thank god for each day you live in this beautiful world. And buy good brake pads, because they are one of many steps to living a long happy life.

I suggest buying good and cheap Brake Pads online. There you will find the best selection of Car Brakes and other auto accessories. - Tim saunier

Bug Deflectors Help Cross Country Driving

I recently drove across the country, from Jersey to California, with two of my good friends. We took route 80 straight across until we hit Nebraska and cruised down through Denver then Vegas and finally landed in San Diego. We packed pretty well for the trip, but if I could do it again I would get a bug deflector.

The time had finally come when I had graduated college and it was time to enter the cruel working world. I have always been under the financial umbrella of my parents so naturally I was freaked out. A man can live on Ramen and Peanut Butter and Jelly for only so long. Well, I figured that if I’m going to be poor, I might as well have a godo time. I talked it over with two of my good friends and we all agreed that we weren’t ready to get jobs. This was the birth of the road trip idea. We had been in school for years; studying day in and day out, and it was time to cut loose. We understood the reality that we would eventually need to get jobs, but we weren’t going out without a fight; not without having a crazy adventure to send us off into the workforce.

We decided to take the northern route, which led us out of the armpit of a state we call New Jersey and on our way to Cleveland where we stopped briefly. From there we enjoyed the windy city; spent some time in Chicago chowing down on some deep dish pizzas. Next, we camped under the starlight sky in Nebraska—the scenery was stunning. Besides the occasional wrong turn, our first problem didn’t arise until that brisk Nebraska morning. We awoke in the morning to find ourselves covered in bug bites. The bites weren’t too painful, just annoying and embarrassing. We pretty much kissed goodbye to any chances of meeting some sweet country girls, since it looked as if we had chicken pox. The drive that day was beautiful, but when we stopped for gas I noticed that the car’s hood was plastered with dried bug remains—blood, guts, and miscellaneous insect parts. Sounds appetizing doesn’t it? We tried to wipe them off at the gas station with the window sponges but no dice. Those pesky insects didn’t budge. I was starting to think they were never coming off and they were going to be permanently engraved on my hood, forever reminding us of our bug attack in Nebraska. But we ended up finding a car wash in Vegas and they came right off. Vegas was insane and as much as I’d love to share, I need to follow the rules, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” But I will say that after the trip we were ready to take a good shower and relax for a while. I definitely suggest taking a cross country trip; just make sure you do it with your best friends. Otherwise, you won’t make it out alive.

Oh yea, and if you are interested in taking the trip, I really recommend picking up a bug deflector. I ended up getting one of the Lund bug deflectors, but I’ m sure you can find a ton of good ones online. See you in the working world.

Do Bug Deflectors Work?

Bothered by your car’s unsightly display of splattered bug guts? Bug deflectors are an effective tool for protecting your vehicle’s appearance.

If you have ever taken a road trip, your vehicle has probably met a few bugs along the way. Windshield wipers are useless when it comes to clearing bug gunk. In fact, they usually streak and cloud your glass, making it even harder to see.

When you’re on vacation, going to the car wash is the last thing on your mind. Besides wasting valuable time, getting your car washed isn’t cheap. Last time I was over at the local “Clean N Care” I got roped into buying the “deluxe” package, which cost me $29.95! My head started spinning just thinking about how much money I will spend on car washes this year.

Bug deflectors are a good investment. With the money you would spend on a few trips to the car wash, you could buy yourself a bug deflector, which will then save you time and money.

Worried that bug deflectors don’t match your car’s image? You can find a variety of bug deflectors to match your style. They range in size, shape, color—you can even find chrome bug deflectors. Adding a sleek smoke colored bug guard can add unique styling to your ride.

They are extremely easy to install. You won’t have to pay installation fees. It will help having a friend assist with centering the guard, but besides that you can install by yourself in a matter of minutes.

An important step that most people forget is cleaning the hood. You don’t want any dirt of grim on the surface where you will be applying the adhesive. You can use an alcohol pad or a degreaser product for this step.

Once the area is clean, make sure it is completely dry. Deflectors come with a variety of mounting pieces. What’s great about bug deflectors is that there is no drilling involved. That’s right, just a strong adhesive will be securing the guard, so there won’t be any nasty holes in your hood should you decide to take it off.

Your bug guard kit should come with its own mounting pieces. Some products come with circular pieces that are sticky on one side and Velcro on the other. For some guards you will just use heavy duty 3M tape. If yours comes with the Velcro system, make sure the two pieces are stuck together and unpeel only one of the backings. Stick them (together) onto your hood. You do not want to apply the pieces to the guard and the hood separately because it will be nearly impossible to line them up straight.

This is where the friend comes in handy. After all the sticky pieces are attached to your hood, you are ready to stick on the bug guard. It helps to have someone eyeing the placement from a distance to make sure it goes on straight. You can also make little pencil markings on each side to check if it is aligned.

The installation is almost complete. You just need to attach a few small rubber bumpers behind the ends of the bug guard. These will stop the edges of your deflector from hitting your hood at high speeds.

You’re done! It was that simple. And bug deflectors are constructed from quality stainless steel or scratch resistant acrylic, which means you won’t have to go replacing it anytime soon.


You can shop for all your road trip needs online. Find everything from Bug Deflectors to Roof Racks for your specific vehicle.

How much punishment can deflectors take?

Sure, auto deflectors may not be a strong as a Star Wars-grade shield founded on potent imperial technology. But, they can push aside most of the things that come flying at your ride. Where’s the breaking point? Follow us as we test it out with some common household items.


We’ve equipped my 88 CRX with bug deflectors for the hood line, and vent visors for the windows now. Each is made from what appears to be thick, hardened plastic molded specifically for this vehicle. We torqued the installation bolts pretty tight on the hood piece, and pressed hard on the mounting tape for the window sections. Now we’re ready for battle.

First up: some bugs. Is there a bug that might break a bug deflector? Maybe in Texas or something like that, but we’ll test the deflectors against a barrage of small ones instead. That requires a dusk drive through any field near my Central Valley home, where the gnats can block the sun during the spring, until the first 90° day causes their fragile bodies to vaporize. A quick run around the local hay field turns the once smoke-colored deflectors speckled black—the gut bag explosions even have a glitter effect. But, the forces of bug infestations have failed to pierce this armor. We’ll use this as the control of our experiment.

Next up: rocks. From about 60 feet away, we fired rocks at the deflectors, varying in size from tiny pebbles to some of my mom’s decorative garden stones. The first round of pebbles failed to faze the bug deflector, which fared much better than my paint above and below the hood section. Surprisingly, the medium rocks bounced off the deflector without leaving cracks…in the deflector, anyway. My Honda logo is toast. We finally compromised the deflector’s defensive powers with a larger rock, sized 7 pounds. It took the right corner completely off, but the paint ended up unblemished.

Impressive so far, but it’s time to really put these shields to the test with something far more likely to actually happen on I-5. We did the only thing we could think of: grab our water balloon launcher and some driving range golf balls. Firing from about 100 feet away, we completely busted the bug shield in half. This was on our fifth fire; the other four skimmed off the hood and pitted my windshield, blasted the side-view, knocked my rearview glue loose, and the last one came flying off the front bumper and right back at us.

Then, it was time for some all-out destruction. So we followed the lead of something else that happens all the time on freeways here, and grabbed all the rotted lumber we could find on the side yard. With my buddy Beetle driving his S-10 in front of us on a county road, Mench laid flat down in the bed, chucking boards and plywood pieces at random intervals about three car lengths ahead of us. I managed to dodge the first two, and the remaining pieces of the deflector bounced the first plywood scrap, but the muddy 2x4 he threw third left only a few circles of plastic and the bolts attached to my hood. The deflector was dead.

The results of our test were pretty clear: destroying stuff for no good reason kicks ass. And, for the most part, a deflector will get ravaged pretty easily, but it’s better than having your hood get ravaged instead. Why, you ask, would we wreck a set of perfectly good deflectors and abuse such a hot tuner car? We hate rice rockets, our Grandma gave me the deflectors as though it’s what I really wanted for my birthday, and things suck in the Central Valley during Spring Break when you can’t afford to go anywhere except Waterworld.


Bug deflectors are bound to fail you when they get hit, and we still have no clue what a vent visor is for.

Because Bugs Bug Me, I Kill ‘em

Nothing gives me the heebie-jeebies like insects. That’s why I get such satisfaction buzzing around town in my Super Duty. Its massive front-end can kill thousands of those winged bastards every year. And now that I have a bug avoidance shield, I’m able to take care of business without as many gooey smears left on my windshield.


I’ve heard that some people like to keep bugs as pets, and there are plenty of scientists that spend their lives studying the suckers. But I simply can’t believe that there is anyone in the world who honestly has a soft spot in their heart for insects. Those entomologists must harbor some deep seated hatred that they keep in check by flexing some control over the creatures by keeping them captive and measuring their organs. It’s their way of lording over arthropods, and I have a serious hunch that it stems from a genuine loathing.

Personally, I wear my unconditional disgust for all creepy-crawlers smack dab on my sleeve. If I run a cross a bug, my first move is to squash that critter before he gets a chance to dig into my flesh with his stinger or fangs. I don’t care if butterflies are beautiful to some people. When one of those colorful creatures flies at me, all I can think about is its germy proboscis slithering around on my skin. I have no qualms about ripping the wings right out of their bodies when they flitter into arm’s length. But I don’t discriminate. Be they ladybugs or black widows, I’ll mash any insect I run across into a wad of sidewalk slop.

But my shoe soles can only do so much work. That’s why I love the massive front-end of my ’03 F-350. Like Louie Anderson at an all-you-can-eat buffet, the monstrous grille on my Super Duty simply devours any pest that gets in its way. Every Saturday when I give her a good washing, I can’t keep track of all the corpses lodged in the radiator, bumper and headlights. However, I hate having to stare at the slimy remains of exploded June Bugs and dragonflies on my windshield. A buddy of mine told me about an amazing auto accessory: bug avoidance shields. Apparently, when you mount one of these onto your hood, it alters your aerodynamics to push the flow of air up over your roof instead of right into your windshield.

Initially, I was apprehensive about the whole business. I figured that sending those critters soaring over my roof instead of putting them out of business with my windshield was too merciful. But the more I started thinking about it, the more I realized that I’d still be doing my part to keep the bug population in check. You see, even if I don’t obliterate them outright, I’m sure that the sheer force of whizzing over my Ford at 75 miles per hour would do some serious damage. With a snapped thorax, some mangled antennae, and a clipped wing, I doubt even the heartiest cockroach in the world could last for long. So after doing some research about bug deflectors & Weathertech side window deflectors, I picked out a set. The bug avoidance shield works like a charm, and I really like the side window deflectors. They allow me to roll down the windows and not have my music drowned out by wind noise. I like to blast Flight of the Valkyries while I’m out battling with the bugs. It sounds like…I don’t know. Victory.

Best bug avoidance practices dictate installing bug deflectors on the hood of your vehicle. And for maximum results I recommend a set of Weathertech side window deflectors. The Flight of the Valkyries music is optional.

For Diesel Performance, Trust Bully Dog to let the Ponies Out

When it comes to power and torque, the top of the food chain these days is the late-model diesel truck. Leaving the factory with over 300 horsepower and 600 ft/lbs of torque, this new breed of hot rod is a force to be reckoned with. And, this is before the addition of any of the popular diesel modifications now available. The burgeoning diesel aftermarket makes it possible for oil-burnin’ motorheads to extract more power—lots more power.

When it comes to hot-rodding diesel trucks, nobody delivers a bite as ferocious as Bully Dog. Since 1999, these guys have been lighting fires under diesel rigs with their hefty lineup of monitors, modules and programmers. Bully Dog’s track record of safely extracting massive amounts of power and torque is how they maintain such a high-profile in the world of diesel performance.

When you’re ready to make your oiler scream like a banshee, there are a few must-have items. Let’s start with control modules. Modules are a quick, no-frills way to add massive power and torque to your rig. Plug one these babies into your OBD-II port and stand by for some stuck-in-your-seat action. For instance, the Bully Dog Dyno Dominator cranks a staggering 171 extra horsepower from a Duramax engine—more ponies than your grandma’s grocery getter even came with!

Take the power a step further and add a performance monitor to the mix. While they don’t actually add power, monitors let you control your module from your driver’s seat. That means you can shift between power levels on-the-fly and tune for special parameters like tire size. The best feature comes in the form of gauges. Bully Dog’s Outlook Monitor displays every engine parameter you’d ever need; MPH, RPM, boost, EGTs, even tranny temperature. It also serves as a virtual dyno that displays horsepower and torque along with quarter-mile and 0-60 times.

The best of both worlds comes in the form of a power programmer. Basically, programmers are a combination module/monitor in one unit. Plug the likes of a Bully Dog Power Pup into your OBD-II port and hang on my darling, you’re gonna go! Extracting huge power gains is no problem for a programmer and it has the added features that you get with a monitor. Kind of like a one-stop-shop for over-the-top performance.

All of these upgrades are readily available and super easy to install. Speed enthusiasts everywhere are ditching their traditional muscle and switching to diesel—hot rods for the 21st century. Don’t take my word for it; check out what your fellow torque junkies are saying about Bully Dog:

"Amazing! The added power I received on just the first setting (50 HP gain) for towing made my truck act like it was on steroids! When I'm not towing my 6 horse trailer, I now get a 2 mile per gallon increase. If you have a diesel truck, don't hesitate to buy the Power Pup as it's worth every penny you'll pay for it."

"installed the triple dog downloader in my 2006 ram. Cannot describe the power and performance the truck now has. It blows everything off the road if you can control it. Worth the investment over and over"

"The bullyDog chip made all the difference in this truck. In stage 2 the truck really comes to life. It makes the 7.3 so much more throttle sensitive it is amazing. The power band is much wider than stock. I couldn’t believe the torque gain in stage 2 and stage 3 is awesome."


Located in Texas—where trucks are king—the crew at Bully Dog continues to tinker and tune diesel powerplants for optimal performance. When you want the best, look to Bully Dog Performance Products for all your diesel tuning needs.

Performance Chips Help Freeway Driving

California has a unique freeway system. Drivers have to stop at a traffic light before entering the freeway. I drive a Toyota Corolla, which means every trip is a near death experience as I merge into a line of speeding trucks. I bought a performance chip and now I don’t need to bring a change of underwear on my morning commute.

I recently moved to California from the east coast. Although I love the climate change and abundance of beautiful beach babes, I’m not too thrilled about California’s unique freeway system. I can still remember my first experience like it was yesterday; actually it was last week. I had just gotten to California and was headed to the beach to go surfing. So I’m cruising on the 8, about to get onto the 15. I look down at my map to check what exit I want to get off at. I glance back up to see red; the brake lights of cars stopped in front of me. Thank god for ABS. I slammed my brakes and stopped just in time to avoid crashing into a Ford F150. “Great, now I’m going to sit in traffic all day,” I thought. As the line of cars slowly crept forward I could see a light in the distance. Is that a police car? Maybe, it’s an ambulance? When I got closer I could see that the light was actually a traffic light. This was the first time I have ever seen a traffic light on a freeway entrance. I finally reached the light, which turned green for two seconds, and hit the gas. I was giving my Corolla full throttle, but it wasn’t speeding up quick enough. Looking in my rear view mirror, I could see the driver of the BMW behind me mouthing curses. The lane started to approach the highway and I wasn’t going nearly as fast as the flow of traffic. Apparently, California drivers have lead-foot syndrome. My lane was merging and truck in the lane next to me that was going at least 30mphs faster than me had to slam on his brakes. The driver thought it wouldn’t be enough to just curse, so I had a great view of his middle finger when he switched lanes and blew past me. Now I’m not a slow driver, but let’s face it, a Corolla isn’t a race car. I ended up making it to the beach in one piece, but I needed to find a solution if I was going to be taking the freeway to work everyday.

I talked to my brother-in-law, who is a mechanic, about my problem. Basically, he gave me two options. I could either buy a new car or make my car faster. I definitely was not ready to buy a new car, especially with all my moving bills. And the last thing I wanted was to be driving around a “rice rocket” or anything that looked like it came from the Fast and the Furious. He suggested adding a performance chip. He had installed a few recently and said that they fine-tune your engine to increase performance. The result is a boost in horsepower, which means some lickety-split acceleration for me.

My brother-in-law suggested Bully dog performance chips or Quadzilla performance chips. I ending up going with the Quadzilla and have seen a big improvement in my car’s pick up. Eat my dust trucks…Or at least don’t run me over.