An ill-produced TV commercial recently hit the airwaves, feature a mechanic who uses a paper air filter as a coffee filter. The ad is—you guessed it—for a performance air filter company stating that “paper is for coffee filters.” It got out crack team to think, “which air filter really is the best for using as a coffee filter?” Play along and see.
OK, so K&N now has a commercial with a mechanic who puts a paper air filter in its place: inside the coffee machine. Apparently, K&N hasn’t heard of idiots who go and do exactly what your far-fetched commercial shows. Do they care about the children? Anyway, it’s not a very well-done commercial (not to get all Siskel and Eggbert on you guys), but it did get us thinking about, well, being those idiots who do what the far-fetched commercial says. This should be very fun, but in very poor taste…literally.
First up, the paper air filter, which we pulled out of my buddy’s Dodge just for fun. It’s been about, oh, 20,000 miles since it was last changed, during which time there were two gnat swarms and one huge wildfire—like snowing ashes and hard to breathe wildfire. The dingy paper was hard to tear out of the urethane frame, but we got it stuffed into place with even a couple of bee carcasses. We fired up the machine, scooped a couple of Yuban clumps in, and let ‘er rip. The results: terrible. Let’s just move on. We can’t tell if the solid bits are poorly filtered grounds or fire leavings.
K&N is next. We figured that if they’re going to brag about being a better air filter than a paper air filter when actually installed on a car, then it’s fair to compare the two in the coffee machine test. Cutting an acceptable piece out of a fresh K&N is a little tough, given the wire mesh and all. But, some tin snips helped us get the right shape filter. Of course, we had quite a bit of trouble getting coffee out of the machine. Since it’s pre-oiled, the filter tended to repel the coffee that should have been seeping down into the pot. Once we finally got a cupful, it was terrible. I spat it all over the guys and gagged, then threw up in my mouth a little bit.
The last one for the test is an AFE Pro-Guard 7 air filter. That’s 7 full layers of filter to stop little bits of coffee grinds from getting into the carafe. But, will the coffee even get past the thick cotton-gauze with the slick oiled coating? It did…through the top of the filter container. Sure, a few drops came out through the nozzle, but much more spilled out the top. It was a complete mess. But, it did make the best coffee of the three, given that it tasted like French roast with three pumps of Torani WD40 syrup. Yuck.
In other words, we’ve figured out that mimicking bad commercials due to summer boredom leads to puking, and to bad coffee. And some pissed-off parents when their morning brew reeks of automotive oil. But, we now know why K&N didn’t show their filters as the supreme coffee filter, though they tout themselves as the peak in filtration technology. Their coffee lost, and so did the paper filter’s. The AFE filter won, but, if it wouldn’t let coffee past, how’s it going to let more air past than a paper filter or K&N? We don’t really know—we’re not into testing things in their actual use.
Air filters like AFE filters don’t really make good non-automotive filters. Buyer beware.
Showing posts with label AFE Filters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AFE Filters. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Breathing New Life into my 5.0 With AFE Filters And AFE Intakes
I don’t care what people say: I’m a Vanilla Ice fan through and through. I even went so far as buying a 1992 Ford Mustang GT with the 5.0L V8 so I could roll like Ice rolls. However, after fifteen years of putting the pedal to the metal, my ‘Stang started running a little rough. That’s why I added in an AFE intake with a fast-flowing AFE filter. Now, the old girl screams
No one’s a bigger Vanilla Ice Fan than me. I’ve got every album that this musical, lyrical god has ever released, starting with Hooked in 1989 and ending with his 2006 Best of compilation. When To the Extreme hit the scene, I almost lost my mind from excitement. Everywhere I turned, there was The Ice. On the radio. On TV. On the silver screen. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I’ve watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II every Saturday night since it was released on video. Much to the amazement of my friends and family, I even quit my job for a year to follow his North American tour. Those were some of the happiest days of my life. When the tour ended, I was stone broke and had to hitchhike my way back home to Pensacola. But I have no regrets.
After I returned from my Vanilla pilgrimage, I got a job at a local record shop. I tried applying for more lucrative positions, but Spinner’s Vinyl was the only place in town that would hire me with all those lines shaved into the side of my head. I didn’t mind, though. It gave me the perfect opportunity to introduce everyone to Vanilla’s B-sides and the bootlegs that I recorded at a few of his shows. You should have seen the looks on people’s faces when they walked in and heard my acoustic version of Roll ‘Em Up blasting through the overhead. After a while, my boss forbade me from playing my idol, so I had to enjoy it by myself through my headphones.
It took a long time, but I finally saved up enough dough to buy my dream car: a white 1992 Ford Mustang GT with the 5.0L motor. I was rolling with the ragtop down so my hair could blow. I even added in a bumping sound system to catch the attention of the girlies on stand by. They never really waved or even said “hi,” but I did catch more than a few looks. Those were glorious times. I had cash, a deluxe car, and an endless well of premium tunes to satisfy my ears.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. My GT started choking a little about the time that ol’ Van Winkle stared in the first Surreal Life. Not exactly a high point for his career or my car, but revitalization was just around the corner. I hunted around on the internet to find some parts to boost my performance. I ran into some sites with great reviews for AFE air filters and AFE intakes. Because this is an Ice ride, I went with the full-blown cold air intake. As soon as I bolted that bad boy into place, my Mustang drove like a brand new invention. The oxygen was flowing like a harpoon right into my cylinders, delivering huge horsepower gains to wax all the chumps at the red lights like a candle. Word to your mother.
Whether you choose AFE air filters or AFE intakes, you can't go wrong.
No one’s a bigger Vanilla Ice Fan than me. I’ve got every album that this musical, lyrical god has ever released, starting with Hooked in 1989 and ending with his 2006 Best of compilation. When To the Extreme hit the scene, I almost lost my mind from excitement. Everywhere I turned, there was The Ice. On the radio. On TV. On the silver screen. I’m not ashamed to admit it, but I’ve watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II every Saturday night since it was released on video. Much to the amazement of my friends and family, I even quit my job for a year to follow his North American tour. Those were some of the happiest days of my life. When the tour ended, I was stone broke and had to hitchhike my way back home to Pensacola. But I have no regrets.
After I returned from my Vanilla pilgrimage, I got a job at a local record shop. I tried applying for more lucrative positions, but Spinner’s Vinyl was the only place in town that would hire me with all those lines shaved into the side of my head. I didn’t mind, though. It gave me the perfect opportunity to introduce everyone to Vanilla’s B-sides and the bootlegs that I recorded at a few of his shows. You should have seen the looks on people’s faces when they walked in and heard my acoustic version of Roll ‘Em Up blasting through the overhead. After a while, my boss forbade me from playing my idol, so I had to enjoy it by myself through my headphones.
It took a long time, but I finally saved up enough dough to buy my dream car: a white 1992 Ford Mustang GT with the 5.0L motor. I was rolling with the ragtop down so my hair could blow. I even added in a bumping sound system to catch the attention of the girlies on stand by. They never really waved or even said “hi,” but I did catch more than a few looks. Those were glorious times. I had cash, a deluxe car, and an endless well of premium tunes to satisfy my ears.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. My GT started choking a little about the time that ol’ Van Winkle stared in the first Surreal Life. Not exactly a high point for his career or my car, but revitalization was just around the corner. I hunted around on the internet to find some parts to boost my performance. I ran into some sites with great reviews for AFE air filters and AFE intakes. Because this is an Ice ride, I went with the full-blown cold air intake. As soon as I bolted that bad boy into place, my Mustang drove like a brand new invention. The oxygen was flowing like a harpoon right into my cylinders, delivering huge horsepower gains to wax all the chumps at the red lights like a candle. Word to your mother.
Whether you choose AFE air filters or AFE intakes, you can't go wrong.
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